The Gift Of Dating You

​For many people, the holiday season and general life events illuminate feelings of loneliness and sadness.  This blog is for anyone who is currently single and in need of a loving reminder on why being single offers many unique opportunities and

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​is a wonderful time to reconnect with the most important relationship you'll ever have, the one with self.  
 
I’ve always believed it is preferable to be single than to be in a relationship for unhealthy reasons.  It seems many people share this belief, however, there are some who are in relationships for unhealthy reasons and ultimately stay stuck and miss out on opportunities for new levels of self-discovery and personal transformation.  I've experienced my fair share of unhealthy relationships. These experiences were a direct result of where I was on my personal path and helped reveal what I needed to address during those times.  I am grateful for the learnings that came from these experiences and am equally grateful for the blessings single times offer too.
 
Many people are afraid to be alone, afraid to end a relationship that isn’t serving their highest good or hop from one person to the next hoping this time they’ll get it right. Some believe relationships provide a sense of security and often view themselves through their relationship and don’t know where the relationship ends and they begin.  What do all of these beliefs have in common?  The false sense that the “external”, in this case someone outside of yourself, is responsible for your happiness.   The truth is, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with self.   Once you really get this in your heart, you can then begin to shift your awareness, nurture this, and benefit from many wonderful things that begin to happen.


Relationships are a great place to grow, heal and evolve...but here's the catch.  If you are doing this from an unawakened state, you’ll miss so much and likely stay stuck or continue to repeat old patterns. 

When you seek to know yourself and love who you are, you don't feel alone, instead you experience a sense of fulfillment and connection.  During these times, take advantage of your freedom and additional free time and get to know the real you.  It’s the real you that you want to share with the world.  It’s the real you that you want to express so you attract a partner who is a match to this and not something less than.  It’s the real you that knows what your higher self deserves and won’t settle for less, even if this means being patient and trusting that the universe will send this person your way at the perfect time.  Relish this time. Use it to heal those wounds, face your fears and raise your vibration.
 
Here are some things to reflect on for those single peeps and why it’s such a gift if used in beneficial ways. Use this time to:
 

• Become the best version of YOU.  You attract what you emit energetically.  Raise your vibration and attract someone who matches at your highest level.
• Take a personal inventory of self.  What patterns do you see with relationships? Where do your core belief systems come from? Are they ones you currently agree with or ones you picked up from others? Are there any personas and identities from your past you embody that no longer serve you?
• Past-life exploration.  Consider doing a past-life regression and see what surfaces.  Often we bring unfinished business from one life to the next in order to complete the karma.  Do you recognize any current themes/issues you brought in now to release & heal?
• Break unhealthy habits and/or addictions.  Start with one and dig deep to find the original root.  Ask as many questions until you arrive at the truth.  This can take some time, especially if you’ve created multiple layers to survive and avoid, so be compassionate and loving with yourself as you explore.
• Start or expand your holistic health regime. Start off with something simple such as eating healthy and taking a walk each day.  Try yoga, meditation, earthing, dry skin brushing, essential oils, acupuncture, a whole food diet…the options are endless!
• Turn to nature for healing! Try earthing, sitting in nature & listening for messages.  Connect with the earth and absorb its healing energies.  Start out doing this for 20 minutes 2-3 times a week and notice the positive changes that arrive.  Many people report better sleep, improved immune system and deeper connection to self.
• Keep a journal of your self-talk. Take this on in the observer role and start by documenting all the positive and negative things you say.  Each day take a look at your list and notice what you see.  How much is positive vs. negative?  Are there obvious patterns?  Do this for a bit and try and catch yourself anytime you get into negative self-talk and then shift into positive talk.  The connection between your thoughts and emotions and your external manifestations is incredibly strong.  Work on this as much as you can and allow the transformation to occur. 
• Fall in love with yourself. Become your own best friend.  Learn to enjoy solo time.  Observe what you do during solo time.  Are you watching tv, playing video games or doing other things to avoid yourself?  Try and simply be with yourself to enhance your personal connection.

• Shift from your head to your heart.  Stop over thinking, over planning and revisiting the past and worrying about the future.  Connect with your heart, exist in the now and be grateful for everything.  Remove anything that is fear based and replace with love.
• Use your extra free time to try new things. Explore your city, travel to a new place, learn a new language...you get the idea.

 
It’s important to know you who are so you attract a match, and equal or perhaps someone even a bit more advanced than you.  A person who truly knows themselves will attract a match to this in many areas of their life.  This is incredibly powerful and provides them with unlimited opportunities for love and abundance that are energetically in alignment with self.  This makes all the solo time even more precious and worthwhile.   To my single peeps, enjoy this time and the waves of self-exploration and may your relationship match be worthy of your amazing self!